He begins to tell me he is seeing his therapist to find out if he wants to stay married to me ir divorce- I finally get enough money to pay the lawyer I decided on. Just last night there was a party and soooo many families went. I took care of this gravely ill man for an entire year, sleeping on bad hospital chairs and chemo pumps going off all night long. Likewise, having invested feelings and energy cultivating the relationship could make her hesitant to walk away with nothing. I felt I was living in a movie or novel… After getting over the shock of all, and constantly keeping up with their conversations, I started logging them. Seems many are condemned to never be appreciated, valued or loved. While I always felt there was no love, I was just a good working appliance also giving him the stability of a married life, a kid, etc.
If you have, you have lost your identity, for you have forgotten about your needs and wants. The answers were not at all what I expected as I am someone who sees the world as black or white. Also, consider 2 Samuel 12:9-14. But, one must do a total 180 degree turn around and never go back to the filth! The attempted friendship was not good or healthy for me and included marriage proposals by him though he is now with other women, or so he says. Then there was the dating lines that he called. Do you know how rare that is in this world? I learned that he had a thing with a coworker where he claimed love but no sex…he held onto his story with a white knuckled grip for the 7 years we wreckonciled before he dropped dead suddenly. Women with low self-esteem tend to have problems with self-love, establishing boundaries, and standing up for themselves; therefore, they accept unacceptable behavior.
Do you think if he loved me, he might have actually cared to go with me to the doctor to find results of serious medical tests? Ask them to listen with a nonjudgmental ear and focus on being there for you rather than tearing down your partner. I am finally getting out, moving to another state in two days, and it is scary! She now says the lying is over and it will never happen again. He told me that she was a friend at work and just gave him the pictures. Why do women stay with cheaters? It doesn't sound bad, it sounds like we know some very different types of men. That so many wronged spouses managed to turn the other cheek is admirable to some. I can say from professional experience that I completely agree. For five years, her family pressured her to go back to her husband.
I have read so many of the pages. In modern day times, people are moving in together and using money as an excuse. I've dismissed someone for infidelity before, I would do it again in a heartbeat, I can't get that trust back. People will only change for themselves…your emotional pleads fall on death ears. At the end of the day, if she is not leaving, she has to be able to survive, for the kids. As a recovering alcoholic, he was putting glasses of red wine next to my bed at night.
Even if she has money, the thought of earning a living plus raising the kids all on her own is daunting - and she knows she'll struggle to find a new partner who's willing to take on her kids. Emotions aside, not having money can cause a woman to stay. Forget about trying to change him. We love each other, but are not in love, and really have no desires or romantic anything. Kristina this is exactly what I wrote on a blog of a 60 year old woman whose husband had an affair with a 20 something and with whom he was in love with.
My ex has not only hurt me but his only daughter. I think I will make it now and be able to leave and change my life. Would that be a drop that fills the cup over? Next, you have to ask yourself if this is something you can move past. Betty, this is such a hopeless cry. I declined the invitation to correct the purported wrong and told him to go. But often it's not that simple.
He told me to go kill myself like one of friends just had. He still calling it true love, he will come get her, he will make love to her for days and weeks…. Your wife sounds like a real piece of work. Our inability to accept the situation as is and hope for the potential keeps us stuck. Writing and sharing my story also helped.
Counseling is very important in this specific issue. I also have no idea why a woman would stay with someone who cheated on her. Keep looking for more resources, on-line or in the Library, to help you. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I attempt to reclaim my life. I confronted him and he told me they were not living there as a couple, just roommates and I was the one he wanted to be with. Why would a woman stay with her husband who has cheated on her? But then I ask myself will you ever be able to believe him again? Move on and away from that choice. In other words, she had the ring on her finger; therefore, she was better.
The thing I have feared has already happened, so, what am I so afraid of happening now? But I'm the one who cheated on my spouse. He acts different now like he cares for me again he is acting like when we dated 20 years ago. This site came to me for a reason! And when her partner comes clean about his affair, yes, it's true that sex definitely occurred, but feelings weren't necessarily there, which gives women more wiggle room to think carefully about the situation and determine how to proceed. I have just enough disdain and distance to not even bat a lash at my own grief. For some couples, cheating actually brings to the surface issues in the relationship that had been swept under the rug. Adding insult to injury, a divorcing wife risks breaking up her social circle as well, especially if it was exclusively other married couples. Personally, I would choose the second marriage over the first.