Courtesy of Liza Wyles During these days, we might not have touched much, or even talked. While he is gone you have to handle a lot of emotional stress on your own, and the likelihood that you will dump all your issues from the past however many months on him, even if you try not to, is very high. The situation is further aggravated when you are feeling no emotional connection with your husband. These were the feelings of intense loneliness I had experienced as an only child, with distant parents and no siblings to play with. How might you start acting differently? Maybe you've been really busy with work or other obligations.
He didn't speak to me for two weeks, then dumped me by text. Connection with your partner will occur easily and naturally when you and your partner have the courage to fully embrace all your feelings with a deep intent to learn. He thinks that by telling you what irks him, you will figure out what he wants and then the disconnect will be repaired. I honestly don't feel any sunk cost, I'm a person that loves being single and isn't necessarily ready to settle down. You can reconnect and revive the fun and passion in your relationship, but this doesn't just happen by itself.
I use to think about him constantly and I considered myself obsessed sometimes. We live together now; the point being is that long distance relationships can work for the right people, in our case, both being nerds who hate large crowds made the online relationship much easier. It's a sign to make subtle changes in order to open your heart and create more intimacy. What could have caused this psychologically and is there any way to fix it? In relationships people offer what Dr. Deangelis, I may have spelling wrong. It's all just a part of life and growing up. I feel that from this past month, I can sense that he is not as affectionate to me as we used to be — after sex, we would just go to sleep and not really cuddle.
We went from meeting each other, to being in a rut worthy of a couple that had been married for 40 years in less than a year! When two people do this in a relationship — each partner protecting against feeling their deeper core feelings with each other — the feelings that are there when there is anger, blaming, judgment, withdrawal or contempt — they feel emotionally disconnected from each other. I have been in long term relationships many times before and I just feel this is taking the downhill fall to break up. She moved in with him and soon after is when our problems began. Perhaps the thought of having neither man to support you is so painful that it stops you from seeing things in a different way. Regarding your question on sex, I think it is a lot more intimate that cuddling or kissing. If your partner hurts you by shutting down, getting angry, blaming, or withdrawing, offer compassion for the loneliness and heartache that we all feel when someone we love disconnects from us.
I'm sorry I can't explain it very well, but I hope you understand. Whenever I bring up what I'm truly feeling or going through it seems he doesn't know how or doesn't want to deal with it. Sorry if I sound rude or anything, but he does sound like your average 16 year old with hormones raging telling him to go after girls, as he seems very disinterested in talking to you about anything other then sexual stuff. My immediate guess is that your boyfriend got scared. This is a frustrating and demoralizing experience that can lead to serious emotional side effects if not dealt with.
His parents are the same way - very disconnected, and would rather deal with things indirectly. I read your post and can empathize with you. If all you have are words they need to count. He's not in that same place and I don't know if he ever will be to the same extent because he'll never have to be at the same level of poverty or self-reliance that I was when I moved out. Look at photos of the two of you together. He always tells me to tell him if something is bothering me, and whenever I have been open and honest with him, he's been there for me, listened and comforted me.
I love him and he loves me I know. But with deeper work, I discovered that it was actually my disconnection from myself - my closed heart - that was causing my anxiety, hurt, guilt, shame and anger. I don't mind coming home to an empty house I'm alone most nights whilst he is at his sport that he goes to 4-5 times a week , perhaps it's the issue of moving, finding somewhere new to live, getting on top of life and money issues. Add your advice in the comments! Focus on what you love about your partner rather than on what's wrong. Eat his favorite food, or something you shared together that brings back those memories. Did you enter your relationship to get love? We all want to feel emotionally connected with our partner. If he gets defensive just say: I don't want to argue, I want to explain to you how I feel.
I feel like our relationship has become very one sided in some senses. I don't feel like we're each other's best friends anymore and I'm not sure I want to be with him this summer only to get more hurt. All your energy is gobbled up. In this way you are with each other and will have a lot to talk. I hope things work out for you. One time, his mother even made a comment about my background that really upset me.