The fact is, even deep down, the most enlightened among us really do expect men to be providers, and women to be good nurturers. I know a guy who wanted a new truck. Now, I am not talking about supporting a man entirely, that I know would not work for me. Since you knew he was going to school, you knew there would be a financial disparity presumably. Needless to say i left him when i was 20 and ended up 9 yrs with a hard working guy i met where i worked and we ended up having 2 lovely children. My boyfriend is out of work.
Perhaps they could come up with a budget and then decide to contribute a certain percentage of their income. Editor's Picks Refuse to give him money to pay his bills or for living expenses. Hell, half the point of living super-frugal is so you can put away more in savings! I really am thinking to end the relationship. But that may take many more years and do you want to wait that long? I was unable to look at him or talk to him for weeks. I'm losing my attraction to him because he doesn't seem capable of supporting himself, much less any family we may have in the future. I have never felt so confident and so loved in my life.
I think that is the sad truth. We're giving them the free ride by not setting boundaries. Remember, people don't truly change for other people. I'm not saying there's no hope for him,I think you just need to set a fire under his butt by telling him exactly how you feel about his complacent attitude and that you want him to start paying his way in the world and start pulling his weight in the relationship. The trick with communication is honesty.
I am friends with a couple where the husband does 95% of the cooking and the wife does 95% of the cleaning… because they like it that way. Review your situation after the probation period has expired. His helped me out with my anxiety and depression so much , i'm a better person for being with him but its like a double edge sword tho. He's got a free roof over his head and you are paying for his bills and providing him with spending money. I don't care what he does to make money, as long as its legal and ethical. I don't know how the hell he's survived this long on his own before I came along. I'm motivated by other things.
Time to call it off. His father kicked him out of the house with his new truck and called him vulgar and stupid. Men bring reality in my face, lead the way and let it go. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He wants to go on hikes and swimming and such but doesn't want to put in the effort to take me anywhere with his own car. He spends most of his time reading news articles and getting upset with the current state of the world.
They have been together 2 years, then decided to move in together. The most damning evidence: he would not pay more than an arbitrary third even if he earned more. I feel I'm wasting my time and it's not my problem he's unemployed, on the other hand, I love him and it's difficult to let go. But he would get a job, the real problem with him was keeping them! That is why every male poster brought it up. Or something happened that is making him lax. There is not one thing you can do to change him, and you shouldn't try. Turn off the money spigot.
Maybe in 5 yrs, when you both are older, and more mature, he'll have come around. Chances are that she will meet another very nice loving man who is capable of meeting her half way if not further. You can't live your whole life depending on others like he is. In four years, my boyfriend hasn't kept a job for more than 3 months! I've given him so many chances and he's never listened. Whether he's worth accepting that is up to you.
The motivation he needs might be for you not to treat him at all and let him treat you for a change - that means getting a job. This is a question of generousity, and of hours… picking up the kids from school, taking them to activities, etc. Part-time work should cover it. Don't abandon people you consider to be your close relationship partners or friends. Encourage your boyfriend to recall what he's good at and point out additional strengths to boost his confidence -- a much-needed commodity when searching for employment.